For Friendship
by samuraiheart
Summary: Touya and Yukito think about what their friendship really means. Shounen-ai.


**_ Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me. They are the property of their respective owners (CLAMP...etc.). PLEASE do not post my fan fics without my permission!_**

**FOR FRIENDSHIP**

_by samuraiheart_

The sun shone brightly in the afternoon sky as Touya came home from soccer practice. He closed the door softly and hoped that Sakura was at Tomoyo's house.

"Konichiwa, oniichan!" Sakura said as she came in the room. She smiled brightly and held out a tall glass of cold juice to her brother. "You look thirsty."

"Thanks, Sakura" he closed his eyes and gulped down the cold liquid.

Sakura looked up at him puzzled. "No teasing?" she thought to herself. "Is something wrong?" she asked hesitantly.

"No… no… I'm just tired I guess." It had been a busy day, but he knew that was a lie. His deep blue eyes glistened as he put a hand on his little sister's shoulder to reassure her. He slowly climbed the stairs and went to his room to study. He put the books on his bed and stared at them for a few minutes before he realized what he was doing.

He had loved Yukito from the day they met, but he had never had a problem keeping those feelings locked inside. He treasured the time they spent together as friends and didn't want to do anything to risk losing that. He only stared when Yukito wasn't looking and he tried not to think about the possibilities too often, but today had been different.

"Why now?" Touya thought to himself. He hadn't been able to concentrate all day. Those beautiful brown eyes and that soft gray hair haunted his memory. "I can't stop thinking about him."

He tried to hide it from the rest of the world, but sometimes it was so hard. Just a little while ago, he had been playing soccer and got distracted by a stray thought about how beautiful Yukito looked standing there with the sun shining on his face. The shadow from the trees made the light dance playfully on Yukito's gray hair. His eyes were squinted slightly and there was just a hint of a glare on his glasses. Touya almost forgot to breathe. He was quickly reminded as a teammate came crashing into him. As he fell onto the grass, he caught a glimpse of concern on Yukito's face as the boy ran towards him. He sat there stunned for a few moments as his friends gathered around.

"Gomen" the young man repeated several times.

Yukito knelt beside his friend and put a hand on his shoulder. "Are you okay? What happened?"

A soft pink blush crept into Touya's cheeks. He couldn't say what had really happened. "I… um… I don't know."

"I think you should go home, To-ya." Yukito said.

"I agree." The coach nodded and blew his whistle. The rest of the team lined up quickly and resumed practice. 

Yukito offered a hand and helped Touya stand up. They stood together on the sidelines, each struggling with their own thoughts. Touya's heart ached for the one standing in front of him and he tried desperately to push those feelings aside like he had done so many times before.

"Do you want me to walk you home, To-ya?" Yukito said, trying to hide the concern in his voice.

"Oh… no. I can make it on my own, but thanks."

Now sitting on the edge of his bed he wondered what he had done to deserve this. Things had changed so much in such a short period of time. Feelings he thought he could keep hidden forever kept forcing their way to the surface. He opened his Calculus book and heard a soft knock at the door.

"Come in." he said weakly.

Yukito opened the door slowly, not sure what to expect. Touya had been acting so strange earlier. Yukito just wanted to check on him and make sure everything was okay. He saw Touya sitting on the bed, halfheartedly doing his Calculus homework. Yukito admired the way his dark black hair fell in gorgeous strands over his eyes, but glimpses of those deep blue orbs shone through. Touya always smiled when he saw Yukito, but this time was different. There was a sadness behind that smile that Yukito couldn't pinpoint. Yukito longed to melt that sadness away with one deep kiss, but he had no way of knowing how Touya would react. Yukito thought his love for Touya was pretty obvious, but his friend never said a word about it. There were hints though that Yukito found hard to ignore. Sometimes he saw the way Touya looked at him and for a brief moment he could hope that Touya loved him too. Yukito would give almost anything to know that Touya loved him. Almost anything, but not his friendship. If Yukito ever said anything and the feeling wasn't mutual, how could their friendship ever be the same again? So he smiled and tried to cherish the moments as they came but how many tears had he shed in the dark?

Yukito sat next to Touya on the bed. "I just wanted to make sure you were alright."

"I'm fine." Touya said sternly. He was trying to convince himself more than Yukito.

Brown eyes looked down sadly, "I just…" Yukito trailed off not knowing how to finish. He couldn't say what he was feeling.

"I'm sorry Yuki. I didn't mean to sound so harsh. I just have a lot on my mind."

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

"Not really." Touya lied.

"Okay, what are you working on?" Yukito leaned closer to see Touya's Calculus homework. He noted that Touya hadn't even started. "Whatever it is must be really bothering him." Yukito mused, "I wish I could help."

Touya could smell the sweetness of Yukito's hair and he had to fight the urge to brush it back from his face and lean in for a kiss. Their eyes met briefly – each longing and confused, but neither realized what it meant.

Yukito sat back up as Touya's door slowly creaked open. "Hi Sakura!"

"Hi Yukito! Dinner's ready. Do you want to join us?"

"Sure that would be great."

The three friends joined Mr. Kinomoto at the table. Yukito and Sakura began eating right away. Touya stared at his plate for a few minutes wondering how long he could continue like this. Always afraid of showing some sign, never sure what Yukito was thinking, always hoping for the best and expecting the worst. Maybe he should just tell Yukito how he feels.

"I don't know how." He whispered without realizing it.

Did you say something oniichan?" Sakura looked over at her brother expectantly.

"Huh?….oh no nothing." Touya said quickly as he resumed pushing his food from side to side on his plate. He wasn't really hungry. He had too much to think about. Well really just one thing… one person.

"Son, are you alright? You don't seem like yourself tonight."

"Yes… well, no. Please excuse me, I'm not feeling very well." Touya pushed back from the table. He couldn't hide a pleading look at Yukito just before he rushed up the stairs. He hoped no one had seen it. He could no longer take it. All of the questions, fears and hopes kept flooding his thoughts. What ifs followed by denials kept asserting themselves in his mind. "What if I told him? What if he hated me? No… I can't. I never can." He had to get out of there. He couldn't stand to be so near to someone that he loved so much, but knew he could never have. Touya leaned back against his bedroom door and let the tears fall. There was no way to stop them now.

Yukito approached the closed door cautiously. His heart was beating quickly and he knew if he hesitated he would never go through with it. He had seen something in Touya's eyes just before he rushed off that made him wonder if now was the time. Yukito decided to tell Touya that he loved him. He knocked softly, but there was no answer. Yukito took a deep breath and opened the door. By this time Touya was sitting on the edge of his bed. He had his face buried in his hands until the door opened. Now he looked up at Yukito with surprise and anguish. Yukito closed the door behind him and went to sit beside Touya. "What's wrong Touya?" Yukito said softly. He neither expected nor received an answer. 

Touya just shook his head and stared at Yukito. He seemed to have given up holding it all in. Yukito saw sadness and pain on his friends face, but he also saw love... at least he hoped he did. Yukito reached out to wipe the tears from Touya's cheek. 

"You've been acting strange all day." It wasn't a question. Yukito brushed the hair from Touya's face and took his hand in his own. 

"Its nothing." Touya took a deep breath and looked up at Yukito. Then he realized that Yukito was holding his hand and Yukito's hands were shaking. There was something in his eyes that Touya thought he could only dream of. 

"To-ya." Yukito saw Touya smile slightly, but this was all so much harder than he thought it would be. "Touya… I don't know… I don't think…" Yukito sighed and gave up, but Touya took over for him.

Touya put his other hand on Yukito's shoulder and looked into the brown eyes thoughtfully. A sudden feeling of courage took over as he said what he never thought he could. The words weren't perfect like he would've liked but they didn't need to be. They were exactly what Yukito wanted to hear. 

"Yuki… I don't know how to say this… but… Icantstopthinkingaboutyou." Touya blushed, but continued when he realized Yukito had not objected. "I love you, Yuki. I always have and… I always will."

He smiled and looked down at his hands a little embarrassed. Silence filled the room and for a moment fear took over. Touya shrugged in defeat and looked up to find Yukito shaking his head and smiling. A glistening tear had trickled halfway down his cheek and Touya gently brushed it away with his hand. Yukito leaned forward and hugged his best friend. 

"I love you too, To-ya." Yukito let go and the two just stared at each other for a while. They each had so many painful memories to let go of now… so many doubts and fears that were no longer necessary. They were replaced with a sense of hope and wonder for the future. Suddenly realizing how close they were, Yukito leaned forward as Touya did the same and they kissed. It started awkwardly – lips on lips and a flood of emotions. Then, Touya wrapped his arms around Yukito and Yukito did the same to Touya. The kiss turned into a long, passionate exchange of love and possibilities. They let go of each other reluctantly.

"Now what?" Touya asked as he wiped the last tears from his face. By now, the two of their tears were mingled on each other's cheeks. 

"I guess we can go back to dinner."

Touya laughed. "Yuki, are you always thinking of food?"

"Well, maybe… when I'm not thinking of you, To-ya." They both smiled.

"Now that we have each other…" Touya said.

"Everything will work out somehow." Yukito finished.

[Back to samuraiheart's main fan fiction page][1]

[Back to samuraiheart's Cardcaptor Sakura: Mostly Touya page][2]

   [1]: http://www.geocities.com/ccsff
   [2]: http://www.geocities.com/kokoro_no_samurai



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